"No TV until your pjs are on"

The routine was the same every winter Sunday evening. As our giant green chevrolet pulled into the driveway, we asked mom, "Can we watch TV?" "TV" was the Sunday evening show, "Wonderful World of Disney." My mother's predictable response, "No TV until your pjs are on." Unfettered by seatbelts (it was the 60's) we climbed over each other and raced to the door, jumping up down like we had to use the bathroom (I think some of us probably did) waiting for Dad to unlock the front door. We thundered up the stairs, oldest to youngest, tugging at our Sunday best, kicking off our Sunday shoes (we inspired Kenny Loggins!!)(Footloose reference) and digging in our drawers for pajamas. We heard our mother's admonition to hang up our clothes, so we kicked them into the closet and raced down the stairs again into the waiting arms of our orange naugahyde couch. The reason for this heated race was the show began right at 7:30, we didn't pull into the driveway until 7:20. We always missed the first important minutes of the show.

One Sunday, my brother Doug and I had a brilliant idea. If we wore our pajamas UNDER our church clothes we could save valuable time getting in position to watch our show. We recruited my sister Gayle to join us. We didn't have a variety of choices when it came to our bed wear. We had summer pajamas and winter pajamas. We knew if we put on our summer pjs and came downstairs we would be sent right back to change. Since the calendar said winter, those were the pajamas we had to wear. Thankfully, the three of us were old enough so pjs with feet weren't part of our wardrobe. But we all had long sleeved, long pants pajamas, and that is what had to go under our Sunday clothes.

As we prepared to get ready for church, my sister and I had an issue that needed solving. Our pj pants showed beneath our dresses. Doug was dressed and pressed and ready to go, as we were still trying to figure out how to hide our pajama bottoms.

"Roll 'em up," he stated. So we did. I remember feeling like a stuffed animal as we hurried to the car. I could feel the pant legs slipping below my skirt. Panicking, I ran back in the house, slid into the bathroom and pulled the pants all the way to my chest. I never entertained the idea of getting caught, but faced with the possibility, I was desperate for anything to hold those pant legs up. I spied some bobby pins on the sink, shoved them into the rolls to hold them up and stiff walked it back to the car. The car horn was honking about now, Dad was mad, Mom was mad, we were going to be late, but the thought of being in front of the TV in record time was worth the wrath!

The one thing the three of us did not allow for was the EXTREME discomfort of wearing two sets of clothes. It was church, so we had to sit still, really still, or else we would get in trouble. The bobby pins were shoving their muted tips into my thigh, the pajamas were itching underneath my dress, one of my pant legs was slipping, I was hot. It was a perfect storm for fidgeting and we didn't dare move a muscle. The sweat began to collect around my hairline after the first hymn. I could feel rivers of water roll down my back by the end of the first talk. The final amen found me sitting in a puddle of perspiration. Doug, Gayle, and I goose stepped it to the car. We were itchy and wet, pant legs were coming undone and we were feeling the terror of being caught.

Again at 7:20 pm our behemoth of a car idled into the driveway. We burst out of the backseat, ripping off our clothes, dancing at the door, flying up and down the stairs in record time. We hit the "on" button. Tinkerbell flew over Sleeping Beauty's castle in all her black and white glory, we did it, we were in our places before the show started. It was worth the sweat, the itch, the insane uncomfortableness, (a real word?) and the threat of mom's wrath. It was so worth it that we did it again the next week and the next, until we really did get caught! Our Sundays of double dressing to preserve our precious TV time were over. Mom wasn't that mad, she even called us resourceful. She did remind us how irreverent we were being by focusing on TV instead of church, a lecture we would hear often over the next decade. Still, I really didn't want to disappoint Mr. Disney by not being there for his show on time! (Click to watch)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttw1buV1GHY