It's Never Really Been That Hard

I want to reflect on my Ragnar experience, but my thoughts keep sliding backwards. I was trying to determine if running in front of people, uphill, around corners, and through a "chute" was the hardest thing I have ever done. Not really. Physically, I was spent Saturday afternoon, June 18, 2011. I cried while I tried to get my legs to do SOMETHING besides drag along the pavement. I remember a prayer I uttered earlier in the month as I was preparing for the Ragnar experience. I asked Heavenly Father to bring the finish line closer to me if I couldn't get to the end. I was asking for "angels to bear me up" as I have so many times in my life.

Back to the "hardest" question. What has been the hardest thing I have ever done? I honestly cannot answer this query with an absolute. My years in high school were some of my darkest days. My childhood is clouded with memories of a brittle relationship between my parents and grandparents. As my depression deepened in my "young mother" period, I felt like I was drowning. My husband's employment left me alone with 4 young children and I didn't always handle that specific circumstance well. There was a miscarriage, more depression, suffocating self doubt, living with in-laws, financial woes, building a house, parent's divorce, more depression, going back to school,blah, blah,blah. Yet, as I peruse my list of "hard" and "hardest" things, none of them were really that hard. There has not been a challenging experience in my 57 years that I have not had the help of heaven. Ever. There were times when I didn't or couldn't recognize the angels that were bearing me up. There were many time when I felt them all around me. The prayer I offered up as I ran, "please bring the finish line closer, so I can get to the end," had already been spoken many times in my life.

Ragnar, like life, is an experience where there is no choice but to go through it if you want to complete your assignment and honor your commitment to your team and the race. But, like life, you do not run "alone." I had the best support of anyone running. My children, Shauna, Kara, Megan, Michael, their spouses, and Jenna, and McKay were my biggest fans and cheerleaders. My husband Jim was my inspiration to finish. It was one of those, "if he can do it, I can do it," deals! My Ragnar experience reflected my life's experiences, I did not do it alone, so it wasn't really that hard! My family were my angels for this experience.

So, was my prayer answered? Was the finish line brought "closer" so I could get to the end? I dug deep, kept moving, and finished! I know there are trials ahead, I know I will be challenged, but I also know that I am on Heaven's radar. I will always finish, and I will always acknowledge Heaven's hand as I race to every finish line I am asked to cross. The answer is yes, and I am grateful that it wasn't really that hard! Thank you my angels, for bearing me up. Thank you for your example of strength and perseverance. Thank you for trusting me. I love you.